Welcome to my blog! Usual rules apply. My blog, my thoughts, your opinions are not necessary. This blog was written by both my husband and I! We hope you are inspired by our story.
This Second time bride finally found out what it really means to love someone selflessly.
Our Story began back in 1991, I was a Jr and Ryan, a Sr. He was into every sport imaginable. He would walk me home from school, even though I lived literally across town and he 2 blocks from the school. I think he just like my mom's spaghetti.
We hung out at a friends place as I was not allowed to be alone with him or any boy for that matter.
He finally gained enough courage to ask me on a date. I was 14, he was 17 turning 18 in July, so the obvious answer was NO. My mother wouldn't let me go. I begged and I begged and found a compromise, mom got to come as chaperon and driver. I was so happy! I was going to see the Christian Comedian Mike Warnke with Ryan!
So a few days before, doesn't Ryan cancel. He forgot to take time off. I ended up having to go to the show with my mom and a friend. I was bummed for sure and kind of upset too. I had to beg and plead and offer my first born to go on a date that I never got to go on.
Things get foggy in my mind from there... I remember school ending and signing years books and than everyone and everything fading into history.
Fast Forward to 2010
Life was up and down. My mom had passed away in 2004, I got married a month later, had my daughter in 2005 and moved to Alberta in 2010. I had just open my facebook account and low and behold one of my first friends! RYAN!!!
As funny as it was, he was a trucker and just so happen to be in the same town as me running a load through! So I invited him over to meet my family. We spent the evening catching up and I really hate to say it, but I knew right then, I still had a spark in my heart for him. He left that evening and went back to his world and I to mine.
About 5 years later, and a failed marriage under my belt, I found myself back home in Ontario. I was visiting my father who had developed Alzheimer and was staying with a friend while I got back on my feet. Little did I know that Ryan was going through his own personal nightmare, which ended in a divorce for him too. I find it interesting that we would run across each others paths at the moment when we needed each other most.
Disclaimer Here... a do as I say not as I do moment!
I believe with all my heart that God brought us together and many others have confirmed it. While the timing was crappy, and previous marriages had ended and things weren't perfect and we didn't do things the way we ought, we both recognize God had His hand in our lives.
The best part of being with God is His salvation for our stupidity. Isn't it good to know that God already knew what you were going to do even before you managed to do something and screw it up! However, just because we messed up big time does not mean you are exempt from God's laws anymore than we were. True repentance is key to God's forgiveness.
We started working together, and spent nearly 2 years 24-7 together in a transport truck. All that time growing and learning about each other. We saw our world together and it was the best 2 years of our lives. There was so much peace and contentment. So much so, that when his divorce was finalized a few months after my own and 3 years after reuniting, we got married on February 15th 2019! The same day my mom and dad married nearly 47 years ago and it was both their second marriage too!!!
So, the questions has been asked.
What is it like now that we are officially married?
It's been year and a month and I love being married now. I love how it feels. It's much more different than my "trainer husband", you know round one, because we are different in every way. I feel that I truly married a man who's soul is the same as mine. After spending 2 years together, and not wanting to kill him, I know that we have a great chance at making it. The stats are against us. But GOD is For us!!!
What's the biggest difference?
I feel that Ryan and I are both on the same page. I won't tarnish my ex, but lets just say, we had different books altogether.
The bible says how can two walk together if they do not agree? Amos 3:3
and Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? 2 Cor 6:14
Compatibility is a must. I once told a lady who was contemplating divorce but wanted to save her marriage the following:
You must put your man first, no matter how annoying the request feels to you, how disruptive the request is to what you are doing, you must make him feel like he is a king and you must respect him above all else including your children.
And being friends with the husband I gave him this advice:
You must put your woman first, no matter how annoying the request feels to you, how disruptive the request is to what you are doing, you must make her feel like she is a queen and you must love her above all else including your children.
They couldn't. they eventually divorced.
See a man does not need love like a woman, he needs to be respected and treated like a king and a leader and she, she needs to know she is loved and protected. Because man was made for woman and woman for man.
Ryan makes me feel loved and shows me love and even more, he loves my daughter, so in turn, I respect him and I show him that by letting him lead our family.
Plans for our future
Only God knows the road we are walking on, and I am just humbled and blessed that I have Ryan and my daughter to walk with.
Ryan said that he is looking forward to our future and building lasting relationships with all our family.
I believe with all my heart that God brought us together and many others have confirmed it. While the timing was crappy, and previous marriages had ended and things weren't perfect and we didn't do things the way we ought, we both recognize God had His hand in our lives.
The best part of being with God is His salvation for our stupidity. Isn't it good to know that God already knew what you were going to do even before you managed to do something and screw it up! However, just because we messed up big time does not mean you are exempt from God's laws anymore than we were. True repentance is key to God's forgiveness.
We started working together, and spent nearly 2 years 24-7 together in a transport truck. All that time growing and learning about each other. We saw our world together and it was the best 2 years of our lives. There was so much peace and contentment. So much so, that when his divorce was finalized a few months after my own and 3 years after reuniting, we got married on February 15th 2019! The same day my mom and dad married nearly 47 years ago and it was both their second marriage too!!!
So, the questions has been asked.
What is it like now that we are officially married?
It's been year and a month and I love being married now. I love how it feels. It's much more different than my "trainer husband", you know round one, because we are different in every way. I feel that I truly married a man who's soul is the same as mine. After spending 2 years together, and not wanting to kill him, I know that we have a great chance at making it. The stats are against us. But GOD is For us!!!
What's the biggest difference?
I feel that Ryan and I are both on the same page. I won't tarnish my ex, but lets just say, we had different books altogether.
The bible says how can two walk together if they do not agree? Amos 3:3
and Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? 2 Cor 6:14
Compatibility is a must. I once told a lady who was contemplating divorce but wanted to save her marriage the following:
You must put your man first, no matter how annoying the request feels to you, how disruptive the request is to what you are doing, you must make him feel like he is a king and you must respect him above all else including your children.
And being friends with the husband I gave him this advice:
You must put your woman first, no matter how annoying the request feels to you, how disruptive the request is to what you are doing, you must make her feel like she is a queen and you must love her above all else including your children.
They couldn't. they eventually divorced.
See a man does not need love like a woman, he needs to be respected and treated like a king and a leader and she, she needs to know she is loved and protected. Because man was made for woman and woman for man.
Ryan makes me feel loved and shows me love and even more, he loves my daughter, so in turn, I respect him and I show him that by letting him lead our family.
Plans for our future
Only God knows the road we are walking on, and I am just humbled and blessed that I have Ryan and my daughter to walk with.
Ryan said that he is looking forward to our future and building lasting relationships with all our family.
With Gid as the pillar of our family we can weather any storm. Standing on the firm foundation of Jesus Christ is a must.
Everyday, make it a point to say loving and encouraging words to one another even if you are grumpy and snarky. A kind word turns away anger...
Good Night folks!
Ryan and Bernie
