This is for us ladies...all I got to say to you men folk is some of y'all need to pull your drawers up! You look like babies with fully loaded diapers! That ain't sexy! Brings back nightmares of changing poop diapers....ew.
Anywho, the video...It got me to thinking...not about bathing suits, I could give two blahs about them, but what the young gal said in the end "What will you do with your beauty"? I'm going to address dressing modestly and physical beauty.
Being a mom/aunt, of several unique girls that oddly enough look up to me, I really have from my teen years taken my appearance seriously. I have a lot of nieces, some older and some much younger and unlike my truly fabu sissy-in-laws, I am, um...adventurous in my physical appearance. In fact, the running sentiment at my church is that no one recognizes me from one week to the next because I can and do change my "look" up very drastically. BUT the one thing that never changes and I am very proud to say this, my modesty.
Body Modesty
I have 3 rules: NO BOOBS, NO BELLY, NO BUTT meaning, I cover up what needs to be covered. Physically speaking, I'm a plus size gal. I have all 3 areas in abundance, and frankly, no one but my husband and cat are privy to seeing those parts of me.
Shopping for me is truly a nightmare. I mean it! It is so hard to find clothing that covers up decently, looks great and is fun. The thing is, plus size fashion goes from extremes, you get plunging cleavage, super tight (cuz stuffing fat into jeans really hides it right *eye roll*) and higher hem lines or you get grannies hand me downs. Seriously! I don't want my boobs exposed nor my belly button! I also don't want my belly stuffed into a pair of super stupid skinny jeans just to look like a busted can of biscuits! And the other extreme, I most assuredly do not want a muumuu! So where's the compromise?
One of my fav trends is the double up of shirts, this works fabulously for me! I can now buy the scary plunging neckline shirt AND put a cool tank top under it! Problem for boobs and belly solved! This can be done with all sorts of camisoles and even scarves. As for dinky skirts... (TMI time) Really, I am not a fan of shaving my legs everyday and rarely wear skirts but when I do, tights! You read it, leggings makes me feel so much nicer plus no need to shave or tan my lily whites! My legs are so white, Casper is jealous! And SERIOUSLY, PRAISE GOD! The fashion dummies have done away with low riding busted biscuit jeans and opted for regular jeans once again!
What is Modesty to Me?
To me, being modest does not mean having to wear a burka, it means having enough respect for your body that you don't have to show it off for the entire world to see. You can cover your hooters and still be sexy!
Modesty is also a way you think and act. It is a learned behaviour.
Modest dressing also allows for a lot of creativity! Mixing and matching patterns and fabric is most fun!
The question you could be asking yourself are:
Why am I dressed the way I am dressed?
Who do I need to impress?
Why do I need to Impress them?
Are they worth my time and effort?
By dressing this way what do I hope to achieve?
Let's be totally honest, some of you girls dress all skanky with your boobs up to your chin for one purpose: male attention. Truly, what's more entertaining then a hot guy with you in his sights? Or how many facebook likes you can get with your duck facing boob poping pics you post.
Ladies, if you want a man to eyeball you, like you are candy, keep it up. We all know junk food isn't going to keep a man for long. He'll finish you up, toss you to the curb for the next box of chicklets that walks on by. However... If you don't give the man the whole show, you might can keep him on the hook long enough to know if he's worthy of your affections (and vice versa men). Respecting you isn't just his job...you have to respect you first.
I truly believe that young girls take their ideas of fashion (what is acceptable what is not) from their mother figures. Not necessarily moms, but significant women in their lives.
Sad example of negative role modelling: I have this nameless female friend who has 3 daughters, mom was a fairly attractive single lady with a new fella each month, she dressed like a hoochie mama and sadly her 3 daughters did too. They would come to church dressed like Victoria secret models (before the airbrushing) and one particular hot sticky summers day... All 4 of them showed up in miniskirts so short their butts got stuck to the waxy wooden pews! (Kind of like sitting on leather in shorts) I personally, have never laughed so hard in my life, but it goes to show you that a skirt can be too short. Anywho, they 3 girls have suffered unnecessary hard lives due to their overtly sexual natures thanks to the fabulous role modelling of their mom.
See in my humble opinion, immodesty will often lead to immoral behaviour.
A positive example: another nameless friend who was a single mom: mom dressed impeccable. I've never met another woman who could wear white all day and stay spotless. Mom had 4 kids, 3 boys and a girl. The girl, while a little weird (normal for my liking) couldn't be bothered with worrying about impressing boys. Her mom told me once, regardless of who you are, people will automatically judge you by what you wear. The whole family dressed classy. They weren't rich, but they always dressed respectfully. Each one of them kids are happily married, the daughter actually made it to marriage with her Virginity, and to this day, unless she's painting or doing yard works, always looks presentable.
So...what choices are you making when you get dressed?
I'm a mom now...I have a very, VERY, creative female child who is on the budding edge of womanhood and pms. Lucky me. I have tried my hardest to always dress in a way that is:
a. Fun
B. Unique
C. Modest
In the hopes that my creative child would learn to love the skin she is in and to dress without having the urge to please others. I laid down the law in grade 1 when she decide to dress herself. I gave her my 3B's and the consequence of "I will dress her if I do not approve". We pick out her cloths together, and she dies have say in what I buy. My kid is the weirdest dressed, pink haired kid at her school. I mean, she will wear jeans with a skirt! She even wears halloween costumes revamped! She's is very much aware of the over sexed culture we live in and often remarks (loudly) about the overtly sexual billboards and mall displays. It's offensive to her! (without my leading) I honestly don't "see" them anymore. She knows that running about half naked doesn't give you the respect or credit it does when you look well dressed. Sad truth, books are judge by their covers.
Physical Beauty
I'm not bragging here when I say this: I am beautiful. (We all know this, I'm pretty darn good looking for being 38)
I had my face analyzed by beauty experts and my face is perfectly proportioned. They categorized me as a "Classic Beauty" (my face, not my body). I get compliments all the time on my freaky green almond shaped eyes, my perfect button nose and full lips. When I'm not hormonal, I have that flawless completion too... And you all can thank my epic makeup skills for this!
That's right, I adore makeup! Makeup is a fabulous tool and skill to have in your life. Yes some of you don't wear it because of laziness, inability, general dislike BUT some of you really need to make an appointment with me, I'll teach you how to paint that barn door! Makeup is our friend...just saying.
But, but, but, beauty is NOT just your face! Beauty and modesty have something in common, it's an attitude, a way you think, and act. Beauty can be found in less than attractive people. Beauty is a gift from God in my opinion.
See, your face can be the face that launches a thousand ships, but your personality can be as bitter and rotten as nightmarish demon. And sadly, your outward beauty will fade and you will become whatever is in your heart one day.
My grandmother was 86 when she went home with the Lord. Her skin was so soft, barely wrinkled, and although she was old, she was in my eyes still very pretty. My grandma was awesome. She worked hard, lead a good life. Was truly a giver. She was beautiful inside and out. My Aunt Dorthy...oh heavens to Betsy... She was a cranky lady. When she was young she was gorgeous...when she was old, well, Aside from the massive dyed black beehive hairstyle, she was less then attractive. She was mean inside and out. (At least to us kids, can't speak for my cousins) I can remember some of the conversations she'd have with my grandma...they were rarely nice, she always had some nasty comment about someone. Very unhappy when we saw her.
Physical beauty is so fleeting (even with Botox) and I will never understand why men flock in droves to a beautiful face/rotten interior and bypass the plain Jane/hidden beauty or fat beauty, who if given the chance would blossom under the same affection. We are such fickle creatures.
Beauty...it really is up to you how you will use it. You can use your outward physical beauty to make your way in life but what good is it if your heart is broken? What good is it if you are used just for your looks? Trophy Spouse?
Conclusion
Ladies, my point is this, how much do you think you are worth? Are you just a pretty face on a great shaped body? Are you just a pair of boobs in a photo? What are you really worth?
I'll tell you what you are worth, you are worth more than all the gold on or in this planet. You my beautiful sisters are created in the image of a loving Saviour, who looked at you, even before you were born and were told "you are VERY good".
My favourite saying of all time:
I Know I'm a Somebody...cuz God don't make no junk.
You are not junk! And regardless of how you look or dress, You are loved by JESUS Christ. Man's opinion don't mean squat, my opinion don't mean squat, but God says you were worth dying for.
Remember that as you go about your life... You don't need to impress another person ever, God loves you, impress Him for a change.
