You know the drill, my blog, my thoughts, my unalienable rights... freedom of thought, belief and expression! Don't like, move along.
Alrighty, let's get down to brass tacks! The past couple of blogs have basically been about me and my failures as a human. It is not easy to express my sorrow for being an idiot, but what can you do but accept what was done and move forward in GRACE and MERCY in Jesus.
See, I am not the one with the problem anymore. I gave my life and sins over to God and I tell you what, I did get my comeuppances don't you doubt that for a moment! And you know what else, I will deal with my sin (even though Jesus has forgiven me) probably for the rest of my life here on earth. It is easier for the church to forgive a murderer than an adulterer. I know, right?! What can you do eh? I've said what I've needed to say, now I'm going to arm you all with the knowledge you are going to need if ever you find yourself on side A. or side B. of the album.
WHO IS TO BLAME WHEN A MARRIAGE BREAKS DOWN?
YOU ARE.
Marriage is a joint venture of 2 people. If your marriage is tanking, you are still responsible for your half of the marriage issues.
When we realize that we allow our lives to go the way we choose, maybe we ought to rethink a few things like why are we not inviting God to lead our lives?
God gave you freewill, God will not direct your path until you ask Him too! You need to ask God to interfere in you freewill so that His Will becomes your own.
I read a post on Idiot-book (FB) today that read something to the effect: Real women don't ruin another woman's home for her own. Or something like that. It pretty much blamed the outside woman for breaking apart the marriage and absolving the married couple from all responsibility of the marriage breakdown.
Folks, it is very easy to blame the other woman/man, but the reality is, your marriage is 100% your responsibility to make work.
Sure Sister Suzy is hotter than fresh oven pizza and you look more like left over turkey carcass, but that there is your problem not smokin' hot Suzy. Suzy loves herself, you loath yourself.
You have probably spent a lot of time staring at that mirror hating the woman looking at you. I did. I am sure if you have kids you have little time or want to, to pretty yourself up and you get all kinds of catty when some hot chick catches your husbands eye.
Do yourself a favour and go paint your barn. My daughter has a song she plays, "Do you're hair toss, check your nails, baby how you feeling?"... ya well if you look like an old warn out tire, who wants to ride you? Oh...ya. I just said that.
Woman! Your job is to make your husband want you! Your job is to put them kids to bed early, and get him ready for an evening that will blow his mind! You are his wife! ACT LIKE IT!
Take my advice:
Ladies: Put your man first above everyone else including the kids and one under God.
God gave you freewill, God will not direct your path until you ask Him too! You need to ask God to interfere in you freewill so that His Will becomes your own.
I read a post on Idiot-book (FB) today that read something to the effect: Real women don't ruin another woman's home for her own. Or something like that. It pretty much blamed the outside woman for breaking apart the marriage and absolving the married couple from all responsibility of the marriage breakdown.
Folks, it is very easy to blame the other woman/man, but the reality is, your marriage is 100% your responsibility to make work.
Sure Sister Suzy is hotter than fresh oven pizza and you look more like left over turkey carcass, but that there is your problem not smokin' hot Suzy. Suzy loves herself, you loath yourself.
You have probably spent a lot of time staring at that mirror hating the woman looking at you. I did. I am sure if you have kids you have little time or want to, to pretty yourself up and you get all kinds of catty when some hot chick catches your husbands eye.
Do yourself a favour and go paint your barn. My daughter has a song she plays, "Do you're hair toss, check your nails, baby how you feeling?"... ya well if you look like an old warn out tire, who wants to ride you? Oh...ya. I just said that.
Woman! Your job is to make your husband want you! Your job is to put them kids to bed early, and get him ready for an evening that will blow his mind! You are his wife! ACT LIKE IT!
Take my advice:
Ladies: Put your man first above everyone else including the kids and one under God.
Do for him with a servants heart. Try to fulfill his requests no matter how small or annoying they may be. Cook dinner for the man, serve him, Service him *wink wink*. Make him feel like a MAN. He was created to be your strength! Let him! And for the love of all that is holy, encourage him instead of running your mouth about him to anyone who will listen. He is your huband, not your girlfriend, and if you treat your girlfriend better than your husband, you are an idiot.
If you make your man feel like he is your KING, he will bend over backwards for you! Ladies above all of this, for heaven sake, look and smell like a woman!
Men: Put your woman first above everyone else including the kids and one under God. Do for her with a servants heart. Try to fulfill her requests no matter how small or annoying they may be. Listen to her, don't fix her. Comfort her, hold her, save all your compliments for her and ONLY her! Put her before all other females and do not make her feel inferior to any other woman. She is your Queen, your gentleness, Guard her like the most precious article you own. Love her, and she will show you what a woman really is.
Men, If a female friend needs your help, ask your wife if you can help her! You wouldn't want your wife going over to male friends house to make him dinner or do his laundry would you?
IF THE GRASS IS GREENER ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE FENCE, FERTILIZE YOUR SIDE!
Let me go one step further... The bible said about husband and wives: Gen 2:24For this reason a man will leave his father and his mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. .
Notice how the two of you are called ONE flesh? It's not a euphemism it's a command. You and your wife are not on a "team" as everyone likes to think. No you and your husband are ONE PERSON and need to act accordingly. Not one is higher than the other, and you can't operate alone. Everything you two do must be done in agreement!
Ladies, as you have your weekly coffee and gossip session and are telling sister so and so about how your man is as dumb as a brick, you're telling her you are too. One thing I can boast on, I didn't go around gossiping about my ex. I left our laundry at home and if the opportunity came up to speak about him, I would say something positive. How's the ex? Well he is working hard! See it's not difficult.
SPEAK LIFE TO EACH OTHER!
How can a flower grow if you do not tend to it? There is no reason for insensitive banter. It's not funny to make fun of your spouse. Yeah, it's jesting but hurtful words have a habit of planting and taking roots.
FORGIVE QUICKLY
What man does not end up in the dog house 6-7x a week... they spend more time in the dog house then they do the penthouse. Couples, the bible tells us Eph 4:26“Be angry, yet do not sin.” Do not let the sun set upon your anger.
There is nothing wrong with being angry, it's what you do while you are angry that is sinful. If your anger is legitimate than so be it! But what can you do to not be angry with each other?
Example: Idiot-book showed me a memory I had back in 2011, the memory was about the time my ex forgot our anniversary... Now, I was hurt as I read because he didn't remember and knowing me, I probably felt pretty pitiful all day because I remember that I am stubborn. I didn't wake up that morning and roll over to my ex and say HAPPY ANNIVERSARY and shower him with love and affection...no. I waited all freaking day for him to remember. I allowed myself to be angry because I was too stupid to say Happy Anniversary. MY FAULT. He is human, he forgets where he puts his keys!
LIKE EACH OTHER
Loving is one thing but ya gotta like each other too.
My revelation this week, Jesus didn't like certain people! Did you know that? JESUS, GOD, doesn't like certain people!!! It's okay not to like someone, you just gotta love them. To LIKE someone, you have to have something there that attracts you to them. Commonalities, a reason to be together. If you have nothing, then you are what? Existing? What attracted you to each other before you ever thought about loving each other? FRIENDS... remember when you were friends? Remember how you guys were once upon a time? Ya well, get back to it.
SERVE ONE ANOTHER
In my opinion this is the most important of everything! You got to server each other! Make a game of it if you have to learn the behaviour, but you got to serve each other. Servant-hood is hard because it makes you, the servant feel less. But...if you both are putting the other first you are both first!
This one is particularly hard for women. We do not like this because it goes against every bull crap feminist view we have been beaten over the head with for the last century. How many woman do you know who think that being a woman means being a man. She goes off to work, she don't need anyone, she is the be all and end all and she don't need no man to tell her how she be. Well if you are in a God center marriage you never have to worry that you are a servant. It is a GOOD thing. Not a negative man hating junk trip.
HOW TO PROTECT YOUR MARRIAGE
LIKE EACH OTHER
Loving is one thing but ya gotta like each other too.
My revelation this week, Jesus didn't like certain people! Did you know that? JESUS, GOD, doesn't like certain people!!! It's okay not to like someone, you just gotta love them. To LIKE someone, you have to have something there that attracts you to them. Commonalities, a reason to be together. If you have nothing, then you are what? Existing? What attracted you to each other before you ever thought about loving each other? FRIENDS... remember when you were friends? Remember how you guys were once upon a time? Ya well, get back to it.
SERVE ONE ANOTHER
In my opinion this is the most important of everything! You got to server each other! Make a game of it if you have to learn the behaviour, but you got to serve each other. Servant-hood is hard because it makes you, the servant feel less. But...if you both are putting the other first you are both first!
This one is particularly hard for women. We do not like this because it goes against every bull crap feminist view we have been beaten over the head with for the last century. How many woman do you know who think that being a woman means being a man. She goes off to work, she don't need anyone, she is the be all and end all and she don't need no man to tell her how she be. Well if you are in a God center marriage you never have to worry that you are a servant. It is a GOOD thing. Not a negative man hating junk trip.
HOW TO PROTECT YOUR MARRIAGE
On Christ the solid rock I stand!!! And I learned the bloody hard stubborn way!!! Trust me, after I Failed my first marriage, I had to take a very long hard look at ME. How would I do things differently? How would I fight the enemy and not my husband? Mind you, my ex had his own issues that he never dealt with. He is in the same boat he was in when I escaped.
The first lesson I had to learn, You can't fail when you are both God centered. When you both have come together with the same mind and same purpose, there is nothing you can't do.
Let me say this again, You are NOT a team! You are a unit. One. Enough team talk, you two are one now.
Eph 5:29 No man ever hated his own body. Instead he feeds and takes care of it, as Christ takes care of the church. You must take care of each other as you would take care of yourself.
Have each other's back and don't allow for discourse to enter in. As soon as sin enters your camp, the troublemakers start. Nip that snot in the bud!!!!
I spent some time reading comments from wives on secular pages, some married woman think It's okay for their men to watch porn and some even watch together. I'm don't quiet understand the logic for Christians to do this, a sinner lives in lust, Christians crucifies their flesh and puts down vain imaginations. The flesh is always weak and stupid, but together, a married couple can rise above all temptations! Allowing that evil seed to be scattered can cause for it to fall on a fertile field in your heart that you didn't even know was there till sin takes root. Why give the devil a toe hold?
Sin is insidious. It creeps in ever so quietly till one day your up to your eyeballs trying to figure if what your next move is! So you must STOP IT before it even starts.
HOW God centred are you? How much time do you spend praying together or studying the Word together? You need to cover each other every day in prayer, let each other know how much you appreciate your time together, time you must purposefully make time.
I remarried a few years later, My now husband and I live almost 24-7 in a transport truck, we have a lot of time together, and most of the time we are loving it. Rarely we fight because we don't give time to it. We are learning to keep the 2 works apart. When we are in the truck it's our world, and no one has the right to interfere there. They can wait till we get back to the "real" world.
You have to tend a garden to get a harvest.
Lesson 2, and I can't stress it enough to be servants to each other. I mean like make other couples jealous of your servant hearts towards each other. My husband and I gross out our friends all the time. We speak words of love a lot. We are always PDA, not gross, but huggy and sitting close to each other. My husband serves me dinner when we go out to buffets or places that are crowed. I don't like crowds. When we got stuck in a crowed movie theater, my husband found a back exit to guide me through. He takes great care of me and I him.
In Ancient Egyptian art, you will notice a lot of statues of husband and wife, that the wife almost always has her arm around her man. She is in essence telling the world she owns him and she has his back. It's called RESPECT AND LOVE. And she will put her foot up your arse if you mess with her man!
So in closing, the lessons I learned in round 2, if you want your marriage to flourish, you must be:
1. Be God centred
2. United
3. Respectful/loving
4. Have each other back
Protect your marriage by protecting each other!
