Welcome to blog, usual disclaimer here...my opinion, you got one of your own so go write your own blog.
Should you FORGIVE yourself?
While it's not expressly spelled out in scripture, it is part of repentance. As we turn from our sins we distance ourselves from them as well.
Think of the woman "caught in adulery". Jesus tells her that no one is condemning her after all her accusers had fled, and therefore Jesus did not accuse her. Should she walk through her life now as an adulteress or as someone who has been justified by Grace through Jesus? Personally, I'd go with justified.
God forgives us and as an act of His benevolence, He remembers them no more. So why should you? Sure you can get a lot of milage telling everyone had bad and worldly you once were but Romans 8:1 states that therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus - because why? Because you are now living by the Spirit and if you know anything about the Holy Spirit, He doesn't remind you of the past that you are forgiven for.
2Corinthians 5:17-18
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.
If you are a New Creation, you get a clean slate and fresh start! Now is your chance to do things right. Yes, maybe for you, you burned a lot of bridges but the thing is, with time, bridges can be rebuilt. You will have to earn trust where it was broken, earn respect where you lost it, or maybe, you will have to make a clean start.
Philippians 3:13
But this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before.
Letting go of your past and forgiving yourself is the most freeing work of Grace we have! Imagine being Paul! How many people suffered and died because of him! He was present as Stephen, the first Christian was martyred and was the cause! No, he had to let go of the very terrible things that he had done and forgive himself in order to be useful to Jesus! This New Creation deserves a fresh start. It deserves the freedom that can only be found in Christ Jesus.
1 John 1:9
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
The gift of grace is God's favour on me that I do not deserve and through Jesus, I can go to my Father and confess to Him my shortcomings, my failures, my deepest mess ups and I know that while there are natural consequences for my stupidity, I know that I am forgiven and I have a place of rightstanding with my Father.
What good will it do to relieve in my mind over and over my past mistakes? I already know where I messed up, I know I'm not dumb enough to pull the same stupid move again, so if I have TRULY repented, TRULY turned my back on that sin, and are moving forward, God has got me. I may have to go through a time of correction due to my actions, but it's a natural consequence that happens. Good, Bad or indifferent.
Yes, the world won't let me forget what I have done, but I don't live for them, I live for my Saviour Jesus Christ! And we all know who the accuser of the brethren is, and he is just waiting to throw my mistakes at me, but I have the Blood of Christ which washes me clean!
https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=efCH9BLeCeU&si=jztAiEvnXJHjiI0w
